9th April 2010

This is Peggy, my new baby ginnie pig :) how cute is she?!!

I rescued her this morning. She was dropped by her original owners and she broke her leg in two places...they took her to the vets but couldn't afford the cost of an amputation so they said for her to be put down...the poor thing! Well I just couldn't have that...so I said I would pay for the bill and keep her myself :) She is having her leg amputated on Monday but for now she is at home with me! She is the so lovely, she sat in my hand earlier and licked me!!! I love her already!

I named her Peggy...as in peg the leg..ahaha!

She has made me so happy today :) hopefully she will act as a great distraction for me!

xx

8th April 2010

I feel so shite today and I really don't know why. It has been quite a good day. I saw my psych earlier, first time for a few weeks because she was on annual leave. I mentioned to her about my plan of going to Australia and she seemed pretty up for it! I am so pleased about this because there has been so much talk of sectioning me lately...I thought they would stop me from going. I am excited but so bloody scared aswell. I know it is a mistake to go there thinking 'this is going to fix everything' but I can't stop myself from thinking that. I mean, if this doesn't work then what the hell will? Anyway I have a little bit of time to think about Australia, I am not going to rush into anything.

I am really hungry. Just purged the tiny bit of dinner I had...really don't want to binge tomorrow but I have a feeling I am going to. I havn't binged for 2 days though :) I know that is pretty pathetic but when I usually binge multiple times a day, it is good. I've got to keep strong, I have got to keep this up.

Anyway it's late now, better get some sleep.

xx

5th April 2010

Woo, I became a moderator of anamiafriends today :D a great site that offers support to anyone suffering from eating disorders!

I am so happy, it's great news so I thought I would share!!

xx

2nd April 2010

It has been a rubbish day today!!

I've been working all day and the shop was so bloody quiet...people just do not shop over easter! It actually turned out to be the longest day of my life, it dragggggged and draggggged and draggggggged some more lol. At least it was double pay though :)

Another thing to add to the rubbishness is that my friend is really pissed off at me because I keep on cancelling meeting up with her
:( She sent me some really short texts earlier. I feel bad cancelling the whole time but I just can't be bothered to talk to her. I know that sounds absolutely terrible but it requires so much effort to socialise!

I'm working again tomorrow...great :/

xx

31st March 2010

Pay day today :) yeepee!! It sucks though, I cannot go out spending cause I am working the next 3 days...how annoying!

Just been to see 'How to train your dragon', it was actually pretty good...I know it's a childrens film but I quite enjoyed it...it was in 3D aswell and the affects were really cool!

Don't really think anything else happened today, just spent most of the day in bed sleeping. That's what most of my days consist of, sleeping, eating, purging etc. O well.

xx

28th March 2010

I feel like absolute shite today :( had a massive arguement with my parents earlier, I hate living at home and I cannot wait until I save up enough money to move out. It all seems so pointless sometimes and I wonder why I even bother with this life. I don't know anymore, things have become so complicated and the 'easy' way out seems so tempting. I know I must not go down that route but sometimes it's difficult to ignore the thoughts.

No positives :( it has been a poop day!

xx

27th March 2010

So, this is my first of blog...I hope that many more will follow.

I've had a pretty rubbish day to be honest...I am tired and my mood is quite low...it isn't helped by the fact that the clocks are going forward tonight and I've got to get up early for work tomorrow.

I went shopping earlier, bought some binge food :( poop...this sucks! I really didn't want to buy it but I just couldn't resist it...it was calling to me...sometimes I find instinct takes over, like a force drags me into the shop to buy the food and I literally can't stop myself...I only realise what I have done once I have left the shop, when my bag is slightly heavier!!

However, on a positive note, I have just spoken to a wonderful friend who always makes me smile :)

I hope tomorrow will be a better day, can't go on much longer living how I am at the moment...things have got to change soon!

xx